Back away to the safety of a quiet house.

What a good start for my very first tutorial (communication skills 2 - kiss my ass) today. I was so damn late, my bloody alarm didn't go off. I shouldn't even turn up for class.. that 45 minutes tutorial. In fact, I should have slept in longer. Damn it.. My damn teacher doesn't give a fuck about me, she just marked me ABSENT. Now I have 2 BIG FUGLY ZEROS on the attendance sheet. NICE. Kayyy, my bad. I was late for 1/2 an hour. Kayyy, bang my head on the wall, please. The weather is realllly terribly gay?! It's so god damn humid, and helloooo we're nearing monsoon season, it's still so WARMMM.. All hail global warming. I hope a star explodes now, causing an outburst in space and igniting a super massive big black hole, sucking everyone and everything and then everyone dies. I wna die. Hmm, side-tracked.

Sigggh, running so low on cash, I'm seriously desperateeee.. I really am so cash-strapped ): Come some money money money. Totally wasted my money on this movie, Superbad. Seriously it is super bad. Damn gayyy can. All they talk about is sex, girls, dicks and they hurl profanities more than I do. /: Uhh kay, I wasn't suppose to in the first place. Sighh. Still some parts of the movie was worth the laugh, spasms and all. Hmm. Prata for lunch, cheapo ice-cream for desserts and some gummies for the itchy mouths (: haha.

Back to band. I seriously think I suck so bad when it comes to making music. Just can't make it la. Hais. And I'm so overly dependent on my peers. Sigh.. I'm so demoralised. What's more, concert's this coming friday. My excitement, mood and feelings are still not here. Don't know why I'm feeling soooo... But I just DREAD everything about band now. It's not about anything or anyone, it's about Me and Myself. I lost my passion for making band music, I've lost my passion for this band... I lost everything I once had... OHHH GOD, I feel so damn depressed now. I don't feel like carrying on, I'm on my verge..

I hate it when everything decided to crumble upon my feet. And I don't have a solution to all this questions I don't even understand. Succumbing to my fears.

You close your eyes and kiss your hand, then you blow it

But it isn't meant for me, and I notice.

If the choice was ours alone

Then why'd we both choose letting go?

Does it end like this?

Time never had a chance to heal your heart

Just a number always counting down to a new start

If you always knew the truth

Then the world would spin around you

Are you dizzy yet..?

Oh, oh take it all back, take your first, your last, your only..